She Who Never Gardens

She who never gardens, has been gardening...kind of. Last fall, I picked out quite a few flower bulbs and Joey planted. Then we waited. With the fierce winter, I wasn't sure if anything would come up. Imagine my surprise when all but 1 blub came up right on time!! Last spring, we were give some hostas as well as some tiger lilies from a person here in town. We also planted some hostas that we'd purchased and the shrubs were planted the first year we were in the house. We weren't sure if the hostas were going to make it because last summer they were pelted with hail and it really tore them up. But alas, all of those have come up as well. Here are a few photos of the flower garden. Nothing fancy but we plan on planting some more bulbs again this fall. We planted tulips, daffodils and hyacinth (I think that's what they are in front).

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

New Year's Eve 2006 - it was a wonderful night. We had friends over to play cards and hang out as we awaited the new year. When it was time for the kids to go to bed, our friends commented on how quickly and easily our kids went to bed. Not realizing what lie ahead, we laughed and said we were lucky. But not long after putting Nate into his big boy bed in his room (like we'd done for the 6 months prior to that), he started screaming and crying. We thought it was odd so we let him come out and crash on the couch. If I knew then what I know now, that would've never happened. That night started a year and a half of Nate sleeping with us. We'd let him fall asleep on the couch and around 10:30-11pm, he'd rouse long enough to come into our room and sleep with us.

Since that time, we've tried several times to get Nathaniel to sleep in his own bed. Each and every time resulted in hysterical screaming and crying. We'd last no more than an hour before we'd cave and let him come out to the couch, always telling each other that there would be a time where he wouldn't sleep with us.

When we visited the developmental pediatrician recently, the only problem we brought up with the ped was Nate's sleeping habits. We knew it was our fault but we wanted advice on how to fix it. He gave us a technical description of what it was and he told us how to fix it: put him in his room and no matter how much screaming and crying ensued, DO NOT give in and let him sleep on the couch/with us. He said that he would be in no physical danger so it wasn't going to kill him to scream/cry. He told us that the most important thing was to not let him sleep in the next day. If he screamed and cried until 2am, oh well...he needed to be up at 6am (his normal waking time). The ped said he'd definitely be tired but to not let him nap and put him to bed at his normal bedtime. He said that given Nate was a bit older than the typical kid who has these problems, it should only take him a few nights to adjust to the changes.

Nate has always been very easy going with other changes in his routine, so we were hoping for the best. Originally, we had planned the transition to his big boy bed during the week of his spring vacation (which starts on Monday the 21st. But alas, I got my dates mixed up and thought spring break was THIS week. So last week, we spent most of the week telling Nate that on Friday, he'd be sleeping in his big boy bed, just like the girls slept in their big girl beds. I spent 2 days last week cleaning everything out of his room (we'd been using it as storage since he wasn't using it) and getting everything set up. I put his truck sheets on his car bed and rounded up Woody and Jessie and put them on his bed.

When I first mentioned him sleeping in his big boy bed, he'd give an adament "NO!" By Wednesday/Thursday, he wasn't saying no but he wasn't really acknowledging it at all!

The moment of truth came Friday at 8pm. We told him it was time for bed in his big boy bed and we walked him to his room. In the times previous, he would've been crying before we ever made it down the hall, so we were surprised that he climbed right up in bed without so much as a sniffle. We gave him kisses and left his door open. Joe and I went to the living room and waited. Waited for him to come out crying, asking to sleep on the couch. Around 8:30, we heard him in the bathroom. No big deal...when we got up to check on him, he was standing in the hallway and said "couch, please". Joe told him that he was doing great in his big boy bed and ushered him back into his room. I thought that would be the start of the crying. Nope, not one tear was shed. We checked on him at 9pm and he was sleeping. We were shocked and thought it was a fluke.

At 9:45, Joe and I were downstairs cleaning up and we heard the pitter patter of little feet. I headed up the stairs and met him at the top step. He wasn't crying but his eyes were glassy with tears. I told him he was doing great in his big boy bed and I took him back to his room. I gave him a kiss and tucked him back in. When I walked to the kitchen, I coughed and shortly after that I heard wimpering and Nate saying something. So I went back to his room and I hear a very teary voice "you okay momma?" He's been asking that for a few weeks now whenever someone coughs. :) I told him I was fine and he went back to sleep.

Joe and I went to bed around midnight and at 10 minutes after, I heard Nate getting out of bed. I met him in the hallway and again told him he was doing great and ushered him back to his bed. He slept the rest of the night without coming into our room.

We still weren't convinced that it was going to be that easy and we prepared ourselves for the next night. But it was unwarranted. He hasn't gotten out of bed since that first night and there hasn't been any screaming or crying at all.

We're SO proud of him! And boy is it nice to have the bed back!! :)

Here are a couple of shots of our big boy!

Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew

1. I am first and foremost a child. I have autism. I am not primarily "autistic" My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person.

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. My brain can't filter all the input and I'm in overload!

3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to) Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you.

4. I am a concrete thinker This means I interpret language very literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and that I need "fixing." Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.

8. Please help me with social interactions It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I'm delighted to be included.

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

10. Love me unconditionally Banish thoughts like, "If he would just**" and "Why can't she*.." You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you - I am worth it.

Finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I'm not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

Spring?

Could it be? Is it really here? Spring, that is! After a very long, cold, snowy winter, I'm hoping and praying that spring is finally here. Yesterday was one of the first nice days that we've had and the temp topped out at about 48 or so. Today is supposed to be a bit warmer and by tomorrow or Thursday, we're supposed to hit 60!

I took the opportunity to take the girls outside for a bit to play. You can see in a couple of the pics, that we still have some snow on the ground where it was piled high. As you can imagine, the yard is a big ol' soppy mess so I made the girls stay on the driveway but they didn't seem to care much. We've been house bound for so long, it was nice to get some fresh air!

Lexi cruisin' on her Dora bike!

Lexi with her shades on!
Maddie riding Nate's Spiderman Scooter!
Maddie
Maddie drawing with the chalk!

Maddie still drawing...
I have no idea what she was doing but love this one of Lexi!

Maddie doing some more chalk work!

April is upon us once again thus so is Autism Awareness Month! For those of you unfamiliar with us, we have an almost 5 year old son on the autism spectrum. He was diagnosed around the age of 2 and has received therapy (until he was 3) and is now in school pretty much full-time. Nate has made ENORMOUS strides in the last year and half! He's talking up a storm these days and is answering questions appropriately and even asking some questions! He recently started going into the kindergarten classroom at school and loves it. The teachers/therapists wanted to see how he was going to adjust to a new classroom and a new teacher. The transition was remarkable. He had no issues with the change in schedule and talks about Mrs. Miller and her classroom every day!

Socially, the teachers/therapists tell us that Nate does really well at saying hello/goodbye to his friends at school and even tries to initiate play with them. Unfortunately due to his delayed speech, it hinders the other kids' ability to understand what he wants or what he's saying. We're hoping that as his speech continues to grow, so will his social skills. Nate's pre-school teacher told me yesterday that they're working with him right now on getting him to ask other kids questions - "What are you drawing?" , "What book are you reading?" , etc. He's a very smart kid so I'm sure he'll learn quickly!

If you find some free time today, check out http://www.cnn.com/ (or channel 202 on DirecTV) today. They're dedicating a good portion of their reporting today on Autism. Also tonight at 9pm on CNN, Larry King Live is going to talk with Jenny McCarthy, an actress who has a child with autism.

Within the last year, they have changed the statistics of how many children are afflicted with autism from 1 in 166 to 1 in 150. Here's OUR 1 in 150....

STRIKE!!

On Sunday, we took the kids to bowling at Leda Lanes. Leda Lanes is a candlepin bowling alley as opposed to your traditional 10 pin large ball bowling alley. Until I moved to the northeast, I'd never even knew such a thing existed. It's played with smaller balls (2.7 lbs) and instead of getting 2 balls for each frame, you get 3. And the pins are quite a bit smaller and shaped differently. For more info on candlepin bowling, visit http://www.ledalanes.com/ .

Anyway, the kids had a great time bowling! It was their first time and we weren't sure if they'd enjoy it but they loved it! I took some pics with my el cheapo camera but they were a bit dark. Here they are...

Joe helping Nate!

Lexi at her favorite area of the alley - the ball return!
The popular stance for the girls - hands on the hips!
Nate patiently waiting for his turn!
The "special shoes"! The kids loved them!
The guys!
Maddie waiting for her turn!
Lexi right after her roll!
Maddie watching her ball S-L-O-W-L-Y roll down the alley!
Lexi waiting for her turn!

Here's a short video clip of Maddie bowling! I'm not sure what was up with the hands on the hips, but it was quite comical!